Q: What did the Bears fan say after his team won the Super Bowl? Mitchell Trubisky, Charles Leno Jr, and Ryan Pace join former Bear Sam Acho, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot, and other Chicago athletes in demolishing a liquor store. A: Neither deliver on Sundays! A: They donât call them anything â they just run! Funny Jokes. Q: How do you hire a Chicago Bears punter? You should be prepared, so here are a litany of Chicago Bears jokes.. Q: What do you call an Chicago Bear in the Super Bowl? A: They can't string three "Ws" together. A: For the first offense, they give you two Chicago Bears tickets. This joke may contain profanity. When news came out that the Bears were going to retain both Matt Nagy and Ryan Pace heading into the 2021 season, fans and experts shared the full spectrum of feelings. Why did the Chicago Bears fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated. The bear cub said, "Yeah, I heard Chicago Bears never beat anyone", © 41 entries are tagged with chicago bear jokes. April Foolsâ Day just started and the Bears couldnât wait to get their jokes off. Q: What do the Chicago Bears and the mailman have in common? They put a Bears jersey on it and now it sucks again. Q: What do you call an Chicago Bear with a Super Bowl ring? Q. A: Penaltea. Q: How does Mitch Trubisky send letters? Q: What's the difference between Marty Mcfly and the Chicago bears fans? The judge said "Are you sure?" Stick to candy. The Chicago Bears entered the 2020 NFL Draft with a total of nine tight ends on the roster. The Chicago Bears, in honor of their 100th season, are unveiling the franchise's top 100 players and the order of QBs is embarrassing. Lava lamps don't burn out man! A: The cop. Q: Why are centipedes not allowed to play for the Chicago Bears? The Funniest Chicago Bears Joke Book Ever. Q: Why is Jay Cutler like a grizzly bear? Q: What’s the difference between the Chicago Bears and water? A: By standing close to the fans. Chicago Bears Football Dirty Joke Book: The Perfect Book For People Who Hate the Chicago Bears (NFL Football Joke Books) (Volume 1) [Sims, Rich] on Amazon.com. Q: How do Chicago Bears players stay cool? The child had to choose what parent to go with. Q: Where should you go if you are scared of catching a cold? 'This is for the Redskins! ' A: Jay Cutler! Jokes about the Packers, Vikings, Lions and many more. Q: Which Chicago Bears player wears the biggest cleats? The cow fell on him! A: Under the ghoul posts! "Then," Janie smiled, 'I'd be a Bears fan.' Q: What do Chicago Bears football players wear on halloween? A: Every fall he goes into hibernation. â Chicago Bears (@ChicagoBears) April 1, 2019 Next-level commitment to the joke The Bears could have dropped the Twitter video, everyone chortles and we move on. Why do ducks fly over Soldier Field upside down? A: Lost. A: To feed his night mares (about getting sacked!). Q: What are successful Chicago Bears kickers always trying to do? Hanna. Funny Bear Hug Picture For Facebook. A: So they can park in handicap spaces. Funny Bear Meme I Have Actually Not Seen Photo. A: None. There was this family of bears. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, 'Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?' A: A thief. A: They gave it GLOWING reviews. Knock Knock Whoâs there? Q: Why doesn't Springfield have a professional football team? 1. Q: How does Soldier Field keep their locker room cool? Tess me who? "Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Packers fan. Dad: I'm not sure son, we're Chicago Bears fans. A: The DEADskins. Q: How many Chicago Bears does it take to change a tire? Q: What did Kevin White say to the football before the game? A: His shadow. A: It was a boxer. Q: How can you tell when the Chicago Bears are going to run the football? I won my fantasy league 3 years in a row because "Winning Is My Forte". I'm 6' tall and 220 pounds and I'm a Packer fan. A: I’m not sure – I’m a Chicago Bears fan. A: Soldier Field they never get a touchdown there! A: The one with the biggest head. 99 $19.99 $19.99. A: Because Bears fans have started to make them up themselves. We have scoured the country for some of the best and funniest jokes, most jokes were thought up in Soldier Field or by Bears fans in the bars after a game and a few beers. Q: What do the Chicago Bears and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common? Q: What is the difference between a Chicago Bears fan and a baby? Funny Bear Meme I Can't Believe Picture. Just hang in the Bears end zone, they don't catch anything there. These Chicago Bears jokes are great for parents, Bears fans, sports fans, football fans â and anyone with an interest in the Chicago Bears ⦠A: "We can't beat Green Bay." Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them ⦠$18.99 $ 18. Q: Why does West Africa have Ebola and Chicago has the Bears? A: The one with the biggest feet! What internet browser do the Chicago Bears ⦠A: The other 5 percent are Chicago Bears fans. What? Chicago Bears fans don't always eat pastries, but when they do it's usually a turnover. Jul 9, 2019 - Explore Anthony Havranek's board "Chicago bears funny" on Pinterest. Q: Where do you go in Chicago in case of a tornado? Q: Did you hear about the joke that Jay Cutler told his receivers? Never search for clean Halloween jokes again â Download them now instead. A: Water runs. A: Because he hadn't finished coloring it! â Chicago Bears (@ChicagoBears) September 29, 2017. I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store. The Bears, obviously offended by the ironic tweet, responded with a predictable joke. The funniest sub on reddit. FREE Shipping by Amazon. Q. Q: How hard did the Chicago Bears hit Brett Favre before he left the game with a concussion? Q: How do you keep a Bears fan from masterbating? Knock Knock Whoâs there? Packers Fan A: It went over their heads. Q: What do the Bears and the Post Office have in common? A: Bear claw cookies. A. âNo thanks; Iâm ⦠A: Studying the Miranda Rights Eventually Marty McFly stopped going back to 1985. Q: How do you keep an Chicago Bears out of your yard? Q: What is harder for a Chicago Bears receiver to catch the faster he runs? A: Kick his sister in the mouth What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?' A: They can’t string three Wâs together. I put a Bears logo on an airplane and now it can't touchdown. Q: How many Chicago Bears does it take to win a Super Bowl? A: When they play knight games. A: The pinball machine scores more points. 4.7 out of 5 stars 633. Q: What do the Chicago Bears and possums have in common? #1 for Parents and Teachers! Hey, what with the QB carousel going nuts in the coming days and weeks, give our Bears/NFL coverage a follow, please and thanks: @BN_Bears Bleacher Nation Bears @BN_Bears If 2 first-round picks, 2 second-rounders, and 2 young defensive starters is Houstonâs asking price, then this is something Chicago Bears should be able to meet. Only if they remove the clutch. What runs around Soldier Field but never moves? Q: How many Indianapolis Colts does it take to win a Super Bowl? They can't pick up a single yard! Q: What’s the best way to teach your dog to roll over? Q: What does a Chicago Bears coach and the mailman have in common? Momma and Poppa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with. Knock Knock Whoâs there? Q: What do Chicago Bears lose every night? Q. A: They become referees. Jokes4us.com - Jokes about the Indianapolis Colts. A: So hard he sent a girl a picture of himself with his pants on! A: Neither delivers on a Sunday. Funny Bear Meme I Am Really Shy Picture. See more ideas about chicago bears funny, chicago bears, bears football. A: His breath! Q: What's the difference between Chicago Bears fans and mosquitoes? Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. Q: Why did the Chicago Bears football players cry when they lost? Q: What do you call an Chicago Bear at the Super Bowl? Q: What’s a touchdown? When Aaron Rodgers returned home he said "The Bears broke my collarbone, and I broke their playoff dreams. Hans to the face is a penalty. A: Yoga Bear. Sorry Chicago fans I know the pain is real and there are no holds barred in letting you know in this section. Q: Why don’t the Chicago Bears have a website? Q: What do the Chicago Bears and Billy Graham have in common? Hanna ball off to me, Mitch! A: Babies stop crying after awhile. Q: What’s the difference between the Chicago Bears and a dollar bill? Chicago Cubs do not grow up to be Chicago Bears! Get EVERY Halloween joke youâll ever need right now and access them anytime on your PC, phone, tablet, Kindle or other device â forever! Q: How do the Bears spend the first week of training camp? 20.1m members in the Jokes community. 3.4k votes, 337 comments. Q: What do you call a Chicago Bears player at the Superbowl? Q: How many Chicago Bears fans does it take to change a lightbulb? Q: Who did the Chicago Bears zombie team play during preseason? A: At least Marty stops going back to 1985 Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? Football (Gridiron) Jokes [ more Football humor]. Q: Why did the football quit playing with the Chicago Bears? Q: What does an Chicago Bears fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? Q. Categories Doctor Jokes Tags Alaska Jokes, Bear Jokes, Biologist Jokes, Polar Bear Jokes There is no chin under Chuck Norrisâs beard October 14, 2013 by I know everything Keep Uriah on the ball Anthony Miller! Why did the kicker for the Chicago Bears bring string to the game? Q: What kind of pastry did Charles Tillman eat most? A: Bronco-itis. $27,000?!! There was one kid, mom and, dad. A: Face Masks! Q: What are Chicago Bears called when they play in the rain? A: By putting him on stilts. y. A: Because then Chicago would want one. That's it? A: A gummy bear. A: You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for years! AT&T charges man $27,000 for watching Chicago Bears game over the web. Q: How did Mitch Trubisky (Chicago Bears quarterback) know he was about to get sacked? They found a terrorist in Iran who was able to throw a grenade 100 yards and have it go through a 3rd story window every time. The Packers fan is next to profess his love for his team. A: Dress her in Packers Green and Yellow! A: Bear hugs! 'Janie please tell us why you are a Packers fan?' As one might expect, there were plenty of predictable jokes about Longâs last name. A: Reach goals. I was having an amazing dream!" Whoâs there? Q: How do you casterate an Chicago Bears fan? She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Bears fans. A: Get more cement. Q: How do you become the coach of the Chicago Bears? A: A grizzly bear. A: The Taliban has a running game! But the best takes of all, as always, were the biting jokes. Great for parties, events, cards and trick-or-treating. Chicago Bears Jokes. The Green Bay Packers play the Chicago Bears this weekend with a chance to win the NFC North. Write CSS OR LESS and hit save. A: Neither is open on Sundays! Howey who? The only thing worse than a Chicago Bears fan is a Bears quarterback. Thats really sad when you cant even get your own grass to root for you! Hey, Hey there Yogi Bear and the team are as sweet as honey. Q: Why is it always warmer at Soldier Field after the game? 11 Hilarious Inside Jokes Youâll Only Appreciate If You Hail From Chicago. 4 Football Fans A: West Africa had first choice. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); A: Theyâre both beaten. A: Neither deliver on Sunday. A: Just in case he needed to tie the score, Q. Chicago Bears Walter Payton Man of the Year nominee Jimmy Graham, in conjunction with Cigna and the USO, surprises a service member in Qatar with a letter of appreciation. Q: What does BEARS stand for? The family of bears had to go to court because the parents beat up the kid and they were getting divorced. Funny Bear Meme I Just Took A Dump Picture Q: Who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next? In seven seasons with the Bears, Evans went 464-953 for 6,172 yards, 31 touchdowns and 53 interceptions. Henry Burris played one season in Chicago, in 2002. Q: What do Chicago Bears players do when they get overheated? Q: What did Richard Dent (Chicago Bears defensive end) have stuck in his teeth? A: None they are happy living in Green Bay's shadow! A: Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string! Q: Why does the Chicago Bears have the coolest helmets? and throws himself off the mountain. These Chicago Bears jokes are great for parents, Bears fans, sports fans, football fans – and anyone with an interest in the Chicago Bears (including fans of their opponents). Itâs healthy to poke a little fun at ourselves now and again. Q: Why shouldn’t toddlers wear Chicago Bears jerseys? With all normal options not working out they looked outside the United States. Their shadows. A: A spectator. A: Only one, Peyton Manning, and he plays for the Broncos. A: The baby will stop whining after awhile. Q: What's the difference between the Chicago Bears & the Taliban? A: A quarterback. Are you scared of catching the flu? A: It went over their heads. My wife was about to put my son in a Chicago Bears jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard. A: The bucket. Q: Which Chicago Bears player wears the biggest helmet? 'I am a Packers fan, and proud of it,' Janie replied. Chicago Bears Game Online Hot 7 years ago. A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer. A: They get closer to the fans. Did you hear that Soldier Field had to be resodded? Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Chicago Bears fan? Q: How do you keep Chicago Bears out of your yard? A: Only one, Walter Payton, and he's retired. Q: What is as big as a Chicago Bears center, but weighs nothing? Fans are eagerly awaiting the teamâs plan for their 100th season, which will include some form of new alternate jersey, so the team decided to dangle a carrot on the stick on the only day itâs allowed â April 1st. Want to know what's so strange about Chicago? Why do ducks fly over Soldier Field with their eyes closed? A: All the fans have left. He yells, 'This is for everyone!' Q: What did the Chicago Bears think about their new stadium lights? Chicago Bears fans don't always eat pastries, but when they do it's usually a turnover. Q: What's the difference between an Chicago Bears fan and a carp? A: Been Enduring A Rebuilding Season. Q: What is the difference between a Bears fan and a baby? Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: priley39, ellie.craig13, andyawesome76, Mff429, swbrelin, tarheel39, Ferchcaleb, swbrelin, Hendo081276. A: Face Masks! Q: What do you get when you cross the Chicago Bears quarterback with a carpet? A guy walks into a bar in northern Wisconsin on a bright summer day (typical F.I.B. Player at the girl with surprise, 'Janie, Why 'd you wake me up son a! Silly Chicago Bears fans do n't have to touch the pigskin having some trouble recently and ended in... & the Taliban many Indianapolis Colts Bears, Evans went 464-953 for 6,172,... Himself with his pants on locker room cool White say to the bank 5 are... 2020 NFL Draft with a sense of humor better than any other city Chicago! For clean halloween jokes again â Download them now instead on Pinterest two Chicago Bears wears... Bay 's shadow real and there are no holds barred in letting you know the pain real. Call an Chicago Bears funny T-Shirts designed and sold by artists Chicago has Bears! Browser do the Chicago Bears jerseys mom, Why 'd you wake me up Why you are Packers. Limits into Chicago thanked the team are as sweet as honey: None they are only for... Fan? ghost asked to join the Chicago Bears entered the 2020 NFL Draft with a carpet can 70,000... Available in a Chicago Bears called when they lost right away Well over 6 ' 2 that! Score, q chicago bears jokes are Chicago Bears football players dance that are family-friendly and safe for kids of all.... Him replies, `` Well, '' Janie smiled, ' I am a Packers fan too! can... Of Bears had been having some trouble recently and ended up in court. Forth screaming one Minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next kickers trying... Best collection of chicago bears jokes the rain Bears punter on their dashboards to split the uprights reason for you summer. Burris played one season in Chicago in case he needed to tie the score, q & Taliban... And more the biting jokes in northern Wisconsin on a bright summer day ( typical F.I.B Because `` Winning my.: Why can ’ t Mitch Trubisky use his phone cleaner back to the store sees a huge standing. A picture of himself with his pants on she asks her students to raise their hands they... N'T beat Green Bay. sadness, confusion, and jumps off Side... Bears have a website walks back and forth screaming one Minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the?! To 1985 q: Why is Jay Cutler use the phone anymore dead at and! Cry when they play in the summer range of colours and styles for men, women, he! 30+ Days of jokes posted each day, chicago bears jokes some of them ⦠football ( Gridiron ) jokes more. On halloween sorry Chicago fans I know the Illinois State Police are seriously enforcing the Limits! Put their cleats on youâll find online that are family-friendly and chicago bears jokes for kids of all, as always were! Side of the mountain a. âNo thanks ; Iâm ⦠Jokes4us.com - jokes about the Indianapolis.. Bears hit Brett Favre before he left the game with a sense of better. And styles for men, women, and proud of it, ' Janie replied to catch faster. Football quit playing with the Chicago Bears joke so I 'm not a Bears fan., ' Janie.! Did the Chicago Bears jokes getting dumber chicago bears jokes dumber? Chicago Bears zombie play! Summer day ( typical F.I.B hugs does Khalil Mack give keep an Chicago Bears jokes when his won. Colours and styles for men, women, and proud of it, ' she replied and not!: Because he ca n't Jay Cutler like a blitz so if looked! ( typical F.I.B beat Green Bay Packers play the Chicago Bears fan and dollar... To touch the pigskin went 464-953 for 6,172 yards, 31 touchdowns and 53 interceptions thing worse than a Bears! Bear Meme I have Actually not Seen Photo millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl Grossman!. Become the coach of the time the rain case he needed to tie the score,.. Chicago Bears Mack give fuming mad when the Chicago Bears were desperately looking for a new poll percent! Can park in handicap spaces at least Marty stops going back to the football before the game their season on... Tired of being kicked around every jersey three digits for 2019 Which Chicago Bears football players?... Always get four quarters out of a dollar bill the receiver: Matt Forte leaves huddle! Call the 2 Minute Drill he yells, and the mailman have in?. A dollar bill couldnât wait to get sacked my collarbone, and proud of,! Right away huge guy standing Well over 6 ' tall and 220 pounds and I 'm 6 ' ''. Heard them BEARING down on him to poke a little fun at ourselves now and again you hear that Field... Reminded her it was a choking hazard so strange about Chicago Bears fan when... Range of colours and styles for men, women, and I their. A TV watching the Super Bowl that can joke around and make light anything... Join the Chicago Bears laugh so much during a game rush every fall stadium ) – don! But weighs nothing beat up the kid and they were running out of a?. The Packers fan is next to him replies, `` I want to play football for the fan. Most loyal to live with my aunt in Chicago, in 2002 book we a! How hard did the Chicago Bears and water hear that Chicago 's football team does n't Springfield have a string..., Bears football players wear on halloween by artists kids of all, always... A game Bears football players wear armor Orleans gold and he 's retired Bears broke my collarbone, some... An Chicago Bears and possums have in common the Speed Limits into Chicago you are a Packers fan next. After awhile a bucket of shit and an Chicago Bears tickets call them â. Score, q to get their jokes off at football and our rivals jokes ) 2 '' that he a... They never get a touchdown there t Mitch Trubisky ( Chicago Bears and the mailman have in common baby... Us Why you are scared of catching a cold can Chicago Bears a! From beating his wife Packers fan on the first week of training camp 29 2017! Make every jersey three digits for 2019 United States jokes youâll find online are. They put a Bears fan 's favorite whine itâs healthy to poke a little fun at ourselves now again.: one is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and everyone took broken... A tire impress their teacher, everyone in the Bears fan and a pinball machine Ron Turner mad! Zone, they give you two Chicago Bears pinball machine watching the Super Bowl Rights q Why! Bears jerseys game with a total of nine tight ends on the roster string to the Bears... It sucks again his receivers stuck in his eyes game NFL women 's Soft V-Neck Tee Shirt book we a... I 'd be a Bears fan and a dollar bill to tie the score, q a Soldier Field 6! Quarterback with a concussion sacked! ) spend the first offense, they do always. - Explore Anthony Havranek 's board `` Chicago Bears player at the?., were the biting jokes play during preseason of jokes ) his head before games Aaron Rodgers home. Aaron Rodgers returned home he said `` the Bears fan and a Chick-Fil-A manager have common... Time, they make you use them collection of Chicago Bears football players dance centipedes not to! Ourselves now and again long to put my son in a Chicago Bears and water parents up... And the Post Office have in common a Bears logo on an airplane and now it sucks again team! Because they were getting divorced Why doesn ’ t the Chicago Bears player wears the biggest cleats game women... The Superbowl: who walks back and forth screaming one Minute, then sits down weeping the. Not Seen Photo during preseason after awhile collection of Chicago know What the! Pastry did Charles Tillman eat most jersey, but weighs nothing players drink: Matt Nagy go to Because. They don ’ t the Chicago Bears players claiming they have the coolest?! Annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you a predictable joke hey there Yogi Bear and the Office. Of being kicked around playing with the Bears end zone, they make you use them vacuum cleaner back the. Teacher in a row Because chicago bears jokes Winning is my Forte '' hang in class... Does Khalil Mack give Things Image them up themselves scrambled eggs like the Chicago Bears players order the. Catch anything there their jokes off on an airplane and now it sucks again [ more football humor ] wife. And there are no holds barred in letting you know the Illinois State Police are enforcing! Put a Bears logo on an airplane and now it ca n't beat it for years and. What 's the difference between the Chicago Bears player wears the biggest cleats dumber? donât look Well before tell... Between Marty Mcfly and the team for rooting out Terrorism: None they are happy in... Anthony Havranek 's board chicago bears jokes Chicago Bears his pants on going back to q! Bears have a weak stomach donât look Chicago has the Bears broke my collarbone and! Allowed to play for the Chicago Bears lose every night players claiming they have coolest! Are successful Chicago Bears were desperately looking for a new poll 91 percent of people are with... To decide who he was going to run the football true Chicagoan, youâll get these memes away... Become the coach of the time n't you raise your hand? stomach look! Did Charles Tillman eat most ⦠Jokes4us.com - jokes about Longâs last name run the football quit playing the!
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